Where Have All The Baseball Clowns Gone?

                                 I was watching MLB Tv the other day and Bull Durham was on. It opens with Max Patkin doing his bit before a Bulls game. Immediately I realized that there are no more Max Patkin’s or Nick Altrock or Al Schact. 

                                It seems to me that in their place, the team mascots have become the clowns.  The first was the San Diego Chicken. The most popular right now is the Philly Phanatic. The Dodgers do not have a mascot, but back in Brooklyn, famous circus clown, Emmet Kelly, was the face of the Brooklyn Bum.

                      Altrock and Schact were the first and their antics delighted crowds into the 40’s. Max Patkin came along later and was doing his thing for 51 years. It all started when Patkin was in the Navy. He was pitching against DiMaggio and gave up a homer. In mock anger he threw his glove at Joe and followed him around the bases. The fans ate it up.

                      Patkin over the course of his run was called: “The Clown Prince of Baseball”. Max was born on January 10th, 1920, in Philadelphia. He played every type of baseball venue. 

                     His dad took him to a baseball game when he was eight and he saw Jimmy Foxx play. He fell in love with the game. From that point on he wanted to be a major leaguer. He would wear his cap all day and not take it off until he went to bed. 

                    Max showed his funny side early in high school. He wrote in his autobiography that he may have been the only athlete at North Philadelphia High School who flunked gym. ” The gym teacher hated me; he once gave me a VVVP rating. That stood for very, very, very poor!” 

                 He started out as an outfielder, but the coach turned him into a pitcher when he saw how high he could lift his leg when throwing. He hoped to get a college scholarship to play baseball, but his grades were too poor.

            He went to Brown Prep in the hopes it would improve his grades. Nope, he claimed he was the only guy who ever flunked study hall. He pitched at Brown for two years and only lost one game, but his grades did not improve, and he was not offered a scholarship. 

             Max pitched in amateur leagues trying hard to get noticed by an MLB team. Finally in 1940, the White Sox took a chance. But when Max arrived at spring training, he learned his contract had been sold for 100 dollars. He pitched at Class-D Wisconsin Rapids in 1941, winning 10, and losing 8. He once uncorked a wild pitch that went into the press box, bouncing off of the wall and then it hit the announcer in the back of his head, knocking him cold. 

              He went in the service soon after Pearl Harbor, joining the Navy. And as I said before, while pitching against the Army-Air Force team, featuring DiMaggio, he gave up the homer and followed Joe around the bases.  Bobby Riggs was a member of his unit in the Navy. He and Riggs played ping pong for money, by the time they were ready to be transferred, Riggs owed him 5000 dollars. 

            After Max was discharged in 1945, he signed with the Cleveland Indians. While pitching in the minors in 46, he came down with tendonitis. That effectively ended his baseball career. But he began doing his comedy routine during games to entertain fans and distract the opposition. 

           During a game with the Philadelphia A’s, Connie Mack began laughing at Max’s antics in the coaching box. “That is when I knew I was funny.” he said, I made Connie Mack laugh. 

          After he was released, he was contacted by the owner of the Harrisburg Senators and offered 100 dollars to perform during an exhibition game with the Indians. 

          The show went well except Max tore a tendon in his leg. He was coaching at first and threw his leg so high the tendon tore. Indians’ owner, Bill Veeck got wind of his act, and wanted to hire him to perform with another former ballplayer turned clown, Jackie Price. 

            Indian’s manager, Lou Boudreau, convinced Veeck to let Patkin coach first for the first two innings of a game to drive the other team nuts. Max signed a contract with the Indians for 1 dollar, and then a personal services contract for 650.00 a month. 

            Veeck once said” Patkin looks like he was put together by someone who did not read the instructions.” Patkin stayed with the Indians until midway through the 1947 season when Veeck decided the Indians were competitive enough to not need someone to entertain the crowd. 

            The job with the Indians had given Max a lot of exposure. He joined a small group of men who did that for a living. Al Schact was still performing. As to not be confused with Schact, who always wore a formal coat, Max did his act in uniform. 

          While he still would do Indians games until Veeck sold the team in 49, he finally decided to start barnstorming around the US. He did baseball games, but he would perform for anyone willing to pay him. 

           He toured with the Harlem Globetrotters at one point. During one performance with the Trotters, he accidentally dropped his pants and mooned the audience. “They loved it” he said” I should keep it in the act.”

        The state department hired him to do tours for the GI’s. He also performed at ice shows and would change costumes to fit the act. Early in his career he was at a sports trade show with Jim Thorpe. Thorpe gave him a baseball glove that he used in his act until he retired. 

        Max did eventually marry. But he traveled so much, the whole thing eventually fell apart. They did not have any children, but the adopted a girl, Joy. She became bitter because her dad was gone so much. He would try and make it up to her when he was home. 

         One night, his wife Judy attacked him with a hammer, splitting his skull open. She went to the kitchen and got a knife, but Joy wrestled the knife away from her. Max gave everything in the divorce except custody of Joy. Eventually he got custody. 

          He and Joy moved in with his brother Eddie. Max’s biggest regret was that Joy never did see his act. Not once. By the mid 50’s, Max had perfected his act, wearing a baggy uniform with a question mark on the back, and his hat tilted sideways. 

               Although the fans always loved his act, some managers did not. Gene Mauch was the worst. Max said he would blow his top every time. He would always try to refuse to let Max perform. He succeeded four time. Max said, damn if he didn’t lose all four games. 

              Max said that his routine never affected the outcome of any game. He was accused of doing that several times. Once when he was doing his routine as the third base coach for the Blue Jays, Jim Palmer was pitching for the Orioles. With John Mayberry at bat, Max shouted “fastball”, just as Palmer was throwing the ball, sure enough, it was a fastball and Mayberry deposited it in the seats. Palmer just stared at Max. 

                Max never missed a performance, and he was quite proud of that. He would do different routines instead of just sticking to one act. As seen in Bull Durham, one of his favorites was showing coaches how to give signs from third while dancing to “Rock Around the Clock.” He would also drink a lot of water and then send it geyser like into the air. 

                He performed for as many as 80,000, in Cleveland, and according to him, as few as 4. He would arrive at the ballpark early so he could meet the players. He would go over his act with them so as not to make anyone look foolish except for himself. 

                  He met many famous people along the way. In 1988, while performing in Denver, George H.W. Bush was the game. He was throwing a ball around the infield, and Max incorporated him into his act. They got a resounding round of applause. 

                  Bull Durham gave Max an even larger audience when released in 1988. The director of the film, Ron Shelton, remembered seeing Patkin when he was in the minors. Not only did Max perform in the movie, but he also had one of the films more memorable lines. While speaking with Annie Savoy, she asks why do you keep doing it Max? His reply, “Annie, I love this game of baseball, I truly love this game.” With this sentiment, I wholeheartedly concur.

            Late in his career, Max was inducted into the Clown Hall of Fame. He also received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the organization, given to those who have helped make the world a happier place. 

           Max retired in 1993 when health issues forced him to at the age of 73. His brother Eddie passed in 1994, and Max suffered depression from the loss. Although he was retired, he stayed active. In 1999 while taping a video a TV spot, a panhandler stole 35.00 from him. Max asked the judge to grant the man leniency and gave him a copy of his autobiography to read. Max said that would be punishment enough. 

               Max Patkin passed away on October 30, 1999, from an aortic aneurysm. Max was summed up in this little poem. 

                                         His uniform was baggy

                                          He had gigantic feet

                                          His hat was always cock-eye

                                           And he had but few teeth

                                           And a schnozz as big as Baltimore

                                           And a heart as big as Devon

                                           Max Patkin made the children laugh

                                           And now he’s gone to heaven

                      Max was truly one of a kind, and the last of the great baseball clowns. We have mascots now, and they entertain the crowds. They will be long remembered, but as long as Bull Durham airs on TV, or is seen in DVDs, Max will have new fans.